'Falling Skies' Ratings: Big Debut for TNT

Filed under: TV News

'Falling Skies' was watched by 5.9 million viewers, making it the highest cable premiere of the year.

According to TNT, the alien drama from DreamWorks and Steven Spielberg was seen by 2.6 million adults in the 18-49 demographic and 3.2 million adults 25-54.

'Falling Skies,' starring Noah Wyle and Moon Bloodgood, is set in a world following an alien attack.

"The enormous success of Falling Skies demonstrates what can happen when you partner with the best people in the business and give them what they need to do their very best work," Michael Wright, executive vice president and head of programming for TNT, TBS and TCM, said in a statement.

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Cindy Crawford Mariah OBrien Uma Thurman Alice Dodd Kate Walsh

Plaxico’s post-prison headwear divulges his future plans

Plaxico Burress was released from prison on Monday and even though he can't sign with any team until this damned lockout is over, rumors are already swirling about where he'll end up, with the Philadelphia Eagles, New York Jets, St. Louis Rams and virtually every other NFL team being bandied about as possible destinations.

We can stop wondering. Upon his release and heartwarming reuniting with his family (and a less-heartwarming hug with Drew Rosenhaus), Plaxico's choice of headwear provided a clear glimpse into his upcoming intentions:

The hat tells all. Plaxico is intent on joining the 1991 Philadelphia Phillies.

Kelly Brook Robin Tunney Kate Groombridge Dania Ramirez Lucy Liu

06/08 (What the Heat?) Quickie

Scarlett Johansson Christina Ricci Missi Pyle Jessica Alba Kylie Bax

Don’t worry, fans – Goodell says that the lockout is for your own good!

In the months and months we've had to deal with the NFL's labor impasse, we've heard a lot of stuff from both sides that could best be described, as William Burroughs once did on an another subject, as "a thin tissue of horse[bleep]." Rhetoric isn't held by one side or the other, though the owners have more practiced advocates of the gilded phrase in their cadre of attorneys and NFL commissioner Roger Goodell himself. A few weeks ago, I was able to sit in on a conference call between Goodell and Seattle Seahawks season ticket holders.

While most of what Goodell said was the standard stuff, one thing really stood out. In a statement that sounded canned at the time, Goodell said to one season ticket holder that the lockout instigated by the league was for the good of the fans, as well. Goodell said that the NFL must roll back overall costs (read: payments to the players) so that ticket prices could be reined in. At the time, it sounded like such an enormous vat of bull-pucky that I assumed Goodell was trying it out on what most people consider a smaller market, and he'd never actually stoop to believing that the NFL's audience would be stupid enough to believe that the owners' need to take equal proceeds from the players ? proceeds those players have earned with their blood, sweat and broken bones ? was somehow related to the ever-increasing expense of the NFL experience.

I was wrong.

When Goodell recently did the same call with Tampa Bay Buccaneers season ticket holders, he put out the exact same canard, where it was picked up by the Tampa Tribune, and then by Pro Football Talk.

More than one Bucs season-ticket holder told Goodell the pace of the collective bargaining talks have left them feeling anything but special and that fans are being taken for granted.

Goodell tried to assure that was not the case. The rising cost of attending games, he said, is one reason the league is working hard to hammer out a favorable CBA.

"We can't continue to shift the cost, whether it's the rising player cost or the rising cost of operating an NFL franchise, on to our fans,'' he said. "That's why we're trying to get a better economic model.

"And I think everyone understands that. You are not being left out of the equation. The fans are a big part of that equation and a big part of the success of NFL football.''

To put it as bluntly as possible, this is the biggest load of crap I have ever heard or read in my entire life. The man running the same league that treats Super Bowl nosebleed seat attendees about as well as Guantanamo residents has absolutely no business whatsoever trying to equate a power move that threw thousands of people into open-ended unemployment with no insurance, medical assistance or known future with some sort of nebulous fan interest. The man running the league that tried to hoard $4 billion in TV money to break the NFLPA once and for all offends the base intelligence of the dumbest person in creation when he tries to insist that the lockout is about anything but a craven money-grab that would make the producer of a reality TV show blush.

Aaron Schatz has the burden of being my editor at Football Outsiders, and he also happens to hold a degree in economics from Brown University. Aaron�was equally offended.

This is nonsense. Ticket prices are primarily decided by two variables: supply of tickets and demand for tickets. That's basic economics. When you're pricing tickets, you charge what the market will bear. It doesn't matter what your player costs are. Otherwise, all 32 teams would be non-profit operations.

If you cut costs, you don't drop your ticket prices. You take profit home. I can't think of any team that wouldn't want more profit, except perhaps Green Bay.

If player costs go up, you don't raise ticket prices past the point where supply and demand meet. That's inefficient, because the rise in prices won't make up for the corresponding drop in ticket sales.

Hey Roger, do you want to lower ticket prices for fans? STOP CHARGING FULL PRICE FOR PRESEASON EXHIBITION GAMES. Heck, you could even shift the charges and raise the cost of regular season tickets to cover the drop in the prices of preseason tickets, and I bet most fans would be fine with that. People are just plain offended at the idea that preseason games cost the same amount of money as regular season games. Last time I checked, the Red Sox don't charge $100 for spring training tickets.

At a time when negotiations between the owners and players finally seem to be taking the right turn, it is a move of unbelievable stupidity for Goodell to say such things. After all this time, lying to the fans will do nothing to curry public favor, and unless Goodell wants to outline just how taking money away from the players is going to drop the price of season tickets and DIRECTV subscription rates, that's exactly what he's doing ? lying through his teeth.

If Goodell wants to act in the best interest of the league, the players and the fans, the best course of action is to cut the silly conference calls, get back in the room, and help to figure out a deal that's best for all involved. Propaganda is beyond useless at this point ? it's dangerous and destructive to the idea of a full season, and labor peace in the future.

Just shut up, Rog. That's all we ask.

Ana Hickmann Mischa Barton Jamie Lynn Sigler Stacy Keibler Rihanna

Higher Education: The best third-down running backs

In a continuation of the recent "Higher Education" series, in which we looked at how rookies would best fit their new teams, we thought it might be interesting to take a look at certain performances and rankings from the 2010 season that go a bit outside the box. With the help of statistics from Football Outsiders, we'll be looking at different metrics that will hopefully illuminate the game in different ways.

In the first installment, we'll be talking about the 10 most efficient third-down running backs, based on FO's DVOA (Defense-adjusted Value Over Average) metric. FO's efficiency metrics are opponent-adjusted and based on every play in a season. DVOA is one of the two primary stats; DYAR (Defense-adjusted Yards Above Replacement) will be discussed in future installments. The quick way to differentiate the two stats is to think of DVOA as a percentage reflecting value above average on a per-play basis; and DYAR as a point value that indicates the cumulative value over average based on every play.

When dealing with stats that feature small sample sizes, it's better to use DVOA, because of the per-play dynamic. So, here are the 10 most efficient backs on third downs with a minimum of 15 third-down carries. We've also included the Success Rate of each back, which indicates the percentage of plays in which a back gained the necessary yardage for a first-down conversion on third down. In all cases, we've thrown in the rare fourth-down carries as well.

Cadillac Williams, Tampa Bay Buccaneers: -- 74.9% DVOA (16 carries, 166 yards, 63% Success Rate)

Not bad for a guy who's gone through more than his share of injuries in recent years; the combination of Williams and rookie LeGarrette Blount was one of the reasons the Bucs were the NFC's surprise team in 2010. But as much as Blount was touted as the power back, and thus more conversant with short-yardage situations, it was Williams who led the way, and Blount had a third-down DVOA of minus-27.9%, and 14 yards and a 33% Success Rate on just nine carries.

LeSean McCoy, Philadelphia Eagles -- 41.6% DVOA (19 carries, 131 yards, 58% Success Rate)

His nickname is "Shady", and McCoy lives up to it with his scattershot running style, but he's also one of the more effective short-yardage backs in the league. It was a good thing, too, because all the other Eagles backs (Jerome Harrison, Eldra Buckley, and Mike Bell) were among the least efficient third-down backs in the league.

Michael Bush, Oakland Raiders -- 32.8% DVOA (18 carries, 112 yards, 50% Success Rate)

Bush and Darren McFadden comprised one of the league's best rushing attacks; that's why the Raiders ranked sixth overall in Rushing DYAR despite a passing attack that was well below average. It's unknown how a new coaching staff, many new offensive linemen, and a change in blocking scheme will change that; it has to be frustrating for Raiders fans that just as Oakland got an offensive philosophy together for the first time in years, everything's now up in the air.

Arian Foster, Houston Texans -- 28.0% DVOA (40 carries, 244 yards, 63% Success Rate)

The NFL's leading rusher in 2010 was pretty darned solid in every category; Foster was one of the few backs last year to post a positive rushing DVOA on every down. Foster cured Houston's longtime red zone issues as well; the Texans were one of the NFL's best red zone teams whether passing or running following several sub-par seasons. Now, about that pass defense…

Michael Turner, Atlanta Falcons -- 27.4% DVOA (18 carries, 62 yards, 72% Success Rate)

Turner's numbers are, to a certain degree, symptomatic of his running style and the style of the Falcons' offense in recent years ? with Turner as the inside grinder for the most part, and the Atlanta offense as a chew-'em-up system without a lot of per-play dynamism. With Julio Jones and Jacquizz Rodgers on board�via the draft, it's possible that things will open up a bit for Turner, allowing him to bust a few more long runs.

Jamaal Charles, Kansas City Chiefs -- 24.6% DVOA (30 carries, 155 yards, 43% Success Rate)

At FO, we've long been on Kansas City head coach Todd Haley's back to have him get Charles more involved in the offense, and we're not the only ones. Haley's familiar claim that Charles isn't a consistent third-down back may br true from a blocking perspective, but it certainly isn't true from a production perspective, especially in contrast to Thomas Jones, who put up a minus-30.9% DVOA, and a 42% Success Rate in those similar situations.

Lousaka Polite, Miami Dolphins -- 24.3% DVOA (16 carries, 39 yards, 88% Success Rate)

Polite has been one of the real old-school backs over the last few years. He amassed 15 first downs on 26 carries in 2010, his first-down percentage is always among the league's highest, and he's known as perhaps the best back in the pros when it comes to that necessary final yard. 15 of Polite's carries came on third-and-1 last year, and he converted 14 of those third downs. That, friends, is the kind of guy you want on your roster.

Chris Ivory, New Orleans Saints -- 24.3% DVOA (17 carries, 105 yards, 71% Success Rate)

The rookie from Tiffin showed a surprising versatility for a bruiser; he was fairly successful with the occasional screen pass and outside run. Ivory was actually a bit more successful on third-down situations with more than one yard to go; we'll have to see how the Saints�fit him in with first-round pick Mark Ingram.

Shonn Greene, New York Jets -- 19.3% DVOA (18 carries, 77 yards, 67% Success Rate)

Greene converted all but one of his third-and-one chances, but he was especially good at extending drives from third-and-longer compared to the league average, converting half of his chances from two yards out or longer and making himself a key cog in the Jets' power running game. The challenge now will be for him to succeed at this level as a feature back.

Frank Gore, San Francisco 49ers -- 14.2% DVOA (22 carries, 85 yards, 55% Success Rate)

After all these years, and all those quarterback issues, and all those offensive line problems, it's good to see Gore on this list, and it's more than a bit revealing�when it comes to�his overall greatness as a 49er. For years, he's done it well without a lot of help.

Rose McGowan Bar Refaeli Jessica White Anna Friel Monica Bellucci

Listen To Puck Daddy Radio for Bruins parade, Lidstrom talk

It's a Monday edition of Puck Daddy Radio, and we're chatting about the following and much more:

? Special Guest Star: Joe Haggerty of CSNNE talks about the Boston Bruins parade, their season wrap up and what to expect from those drunken fools this summer.

? Pizzo cracks the champagne as Nicklas Lidstrom remains a Red Wing.

? Looking at the big restricted free agents.

? The return of Puck Headlines.

? We want your phone calls! 1-888-942-7326, from 1 p.m ET/10 a.m. PT to 2 p.m. ET/11 a.m. PT

? Question of the day: What aspect of Nicklas Lidstrom (stats, intangibles, etc.) impresses you the most?

Email your thoughts to puckdaddyradio@thescore.com.

Puck Daddy Radio is on Monday through Friday, from 1-2 p.m. ET/10-11 a.m. PT on The Score Radio Sirius Channel 158. Featuring Wyshynski and Rob Pizzo, it's your show: Calls, tweets, special guests and a ton of hockey goodness every day.

The call in number is 1-888-942-7326 (1-888-9-HARDCORE). We'll also be reading emails to puckdaddyradio@thescore.com and tweets that you send to @wyshynski and @robpizzo.

We're all about interaction here; call in, email, tweet ... we'll discuss whatever you'd like. Listen here:

Tina Fey Gina Philips Jamie Gunns Ananda Lewis Kate Bosworth

Update: Owners, Commissioner, NFLPA held secret meeting in Chicago

UPDATE: On Thursday morning, ESPN's Chris Mortensen and Adam Schefter first reported that DeMaurice Smith, the head of the NFLPA, and various players association officials were in Chicago for what was actually a negotiating session in which it was hoped that the vast divide between the owners and players could be bridged -- perhaps as a precursor to a new Collective Bargaining Agreement. Schefter also reported that the meetings were so confidential, some owners didn't know that they were taking place. Certainly an interesting series of developments with the next hearing just a day away. Stay tuned for more details as we get them...

With the next labor hearing beginning on Friday on front of the Eighth Circuit Court in St. Louis, another opportunity for the players to argue the legality of the current should lead to some drama in what has been an all-too-quiet NFL landscape of late. And as Brad Biggs of the Chicago Tribune has sleuthed, the drama is beginning before the date of the hearing.

Biggs figured out that three important owners ? Jerry Jones of the Dallas Cowboys, Robert Kraft of the New England Patriots, and Jerry Richardson of the Carolina Panthers ? met in the Windy City with Commissioner Roger Goodell on Wednesday. Kraft's private jet was spotted at DuPage Airport, as was Jones' Gulfstream with blue stars on each side of the tail. Sources also placed Richardson and Goodell at the private confab. Kraft was apparently questioned about his business in Chicago, but gave no comment.

Of course, the meeting could mean any number of things ? it could be a strategy session for the NFL in the event that they win the next round with the Eighth Circuit Court (which they expect to do), or an entreaty to a possible negotiation strategy should they lose. It could have been a meeting with members of the NFLPA, though that seems less likely ? as much as Goodell has been ringing the bell for 'negotiation, not litigation," the only recent discussions have been legally mandated ones.

It could also have been a discussion about a possible ruling for damages by Judge David Doty in the lockout insurance case ? the players have asked for damages exceeding $700 million after Doty found that the owners had colluded to try and set up a $4 billion slush fund with 2011 television money, and Doty could do a lot worse if he so chose ? he could rule for treble damages and really give the owners something to cry about. Or it could just be three of the league's most powerful owners telling Goodell what he needs to know about the way the next wave of labor issues will go.

We can only hope that the meeting is a precursor to negotiations ? ANY kind of negotiations ? instead of the stalemate that has dragged on for months. It's unlikely that either side will move until the Eighth Circuit Court rules again, but one never knows.

Moon Bloodgood Kristin Kreuk Molly Sims Monika Kramlik Lacey Chabert

WWE Capitol Punishment: A Match-by-Match Breakdown

For the first time in a long time, we have a WWE Pay-Per-View with plenty of singles action and no gimmicks or special referees to speak of. Most of the card was built strongly (albeit with some interesting and sometimes lackluster booking), thus leaving Capitol Punishment with some good momentum and anticipation. Did the matches live up to the hype, or did any fall flat? Here's the breakdown of WWE's newest PPV, match by match.

(All pictures courtesy of WWE.com)

Begin Slideshow

Gina Carano Sanaa Lathan Ana Beatriz Barros Maria Menounos Shakira

Why Tim Thomas is the antithesis of Roberto Luongo

BOSTON ? The dissimilarities begin with aesthetics.

Roberto Luongo has the features and slicked back hair of an Italian soap star, unabated by a playoff beard. Tim Thomas looks like the older brother of Yukon Cornelius, who stocks shelves at the local beer store after hours.

Luongo wears No. 1, the number of Jacques Plante, but the goalie digit that infamously hasn't been seen around a Stanley Cup since 1975. Thomas, meanwhile, wears the number (30) that's been worn by Martin Brodeur, Gump Worsley and Chris Nilan … and there's something wonderfully appropriate about that.

Luongo was drafted fourth overall in 1997 by the New York Islanders, ostensibly to be their franchise goalie. He flamed out in training camp, returned to junior, eventually played 24 games with the Islanders and watched them draft Rick DiPietro to replace him ? with DiPietro becoming the highest drafted goalie of all time, breaking the standard set by Luongo.

(Mike Milbury, in his infinite wisdom, traded him to Florida in a deal so lopsided that we can't reprint its different components without uncontrollably giggling.)

Thomas was drafted No. 217 overall by the Quebec Nordiques in 1994 and didn't see a game of NHL action until 2003, bouncing around Europe and playing for teams like the Detroit Vipers.

If Luongo was The Chosen One, Thomas was The Discarded One.

Luongo is a conservative, butterfly-style goaltender whose 6-foot-3 frame fills the net. As Luongo was quick to point out after Game 5 of the Stanley Cup Final, Thomas is a roaming, chaotic goalie whose style can be a liability one night and a savior the next. He's also around 5-foot-11, making him a pug to Luongo's Great Dane.

Thomas has a Vezina Trophy, and probably will have another after next week. Luongo has been nominated three times, and will remain sans Vezina in Las Vegas this year.

The Stanley Cup Final has exposed many more differences between these two goaltenders, from demeanor to consistency to respect in the media to mental toughness. All of those facets will combine to create one of the two final differences between Roberto Luongo and Tim Thomas after Wednesday night's Game 7:

Thomas will have the Conn Smythe Trophy, and Roberto Luongo will not.

The question is, will Luongo counter that accolade with something Thomas doesn't have: The Stanley Cup?

Luongo is in the midst of one of the strangest-ever performances for a goaltender in the Stanley Cup Final. Think about a hitter who bats .150 on the road and looks like Ted Williams at home. Think about an NBA player who can't put the ball in the ocean on the road but posts triple-doubles with ease at home.

Luongo has given up 15 goals and has been pulled twice in Boston. Luongo has two shutouts and has given up 2 goals on 97 shots. It really is the oddest thing.

My pet theory is that he's a hockey masochist, a player who needs to hit rock bottom, feel the weight of the world on him to really excel in difficult situations. I also think Coach Alain Vigneault sees him as a bit of a martyr: When Luongo is rocked and pulled, his team will respond with a defiant effort as intense as Luongo's in the following game.

(There could be doctorate studies written about the psychological conundrum that are the Vancouver Canucks. Fragile psyches, fragile egos, taunting, biting … forget the Flyers and Rangers on "24/7," give us the Canucks on Dr. Phil.)

As unsteady as Luongo has looked in the Final, Thomas has looked self-assured.

He has played his best hockey of the playoffs in the final round. That shouldn't be the determining factor for the Conn Smythe, which (thank the hockey gods) is an award for the entirety of the tournament. But he's given up eight goals in six finals games. The last goalie to win the Conn Smythe, Cam Ward of the Carolina Hurricanes, gave up 11 in his first six games. Jean-Sebastien Giguere, who won in a losing effort for Anaheim in 2003, gave up 15 in six games.

What's contributed to Thomas's dominance? The sum of his playoff experiences, he said after Game 6:

"I was just thinking about last year's run the other day and how much being able to see the game from a different side really helped me.� Kind of seeing the in's and out's and the way that people interact during the playoffs and, you know, the things that we were doing which gave us the success that we did have last year.� Just see it go from a different side, I think that helped.

"I'd never really had that opportunity in my career before.� I was always on the ice and so focused with playing, so all those little things add up.

"I think, you know, having my first playoff series in Montreal with that type of crowd, that's helped the rest of my playoff experiences.� I've experienced probably the loudest crowd in the NHL, that's what it feels like at Bell Center.� And, you know, losing Game 7 to Carolina was an experience that, you know, it helped me in the long run."

Thomas will be the playoff MVP. It's not really even a debate worth having after Game 6, unless Ryan Kesler is the No. 1 offensive star in a Vancouver Game 7 win. That's the only way Thomas might not win, and even that's a longshot.

No, the debate is whether Thomas and his team can solve Luongo on his home ice.

Luongo will bounce back in Game 7, and so will the Canucks. They're a plus-7 as a team at home, and minus-14 on the road. To a man, the Bruins acknowledged last night was a mulligan for Vancouver in postgame comments, and that their own efforts in Vancouver have been underwhelming.

Pressed for a prediction, I'll allow the dramatist in me a moment of prognostication: Canucks win, 1-0, with Luongo getting his third shutout of the Final.

But much like when Roberto wore that Olympic gold medal around his neck in Vancouver last year, the accolades and the respect and the MVP award will go to the American goaltender who outplayed him in the tournament.

It's really the Ryan Miller thing all over again: Luongo will have the glory, Thomas will have the guts, the MVP and the respect of all watching this goaltending battle.

And that's the difference.

Shakara Ledard Vanessa Marcil Rachel McAdams Kristin Cavallari Brittany Murphy

Puck Headlines: Game 7 aftermath; more Jaromir Jagr chatter

Here are your Puck Headlines: a glorious collection of news and views collected from the greatest blogosphere in sports and the few, the proud, the mainstream hockey media.

? We had this photo in the gallery published this morning but had to move it here for reasons far too tedious to mention. But yes, the surreal sight of these amorous Vancouverites could be the photo of the year. Shameless borrowed from Adryan: "At least someone from Vancouver can score on the road!" [NPR, and here is an aerial view via Facebook]

? Interesting bit from Daniel Wagner from Pass It To Bulis on the Vancouver riots — blaming the anarchists, but still saving some anger for the fans. "Too many people chose to stay downtown, egging on the rioters and, in too many cases, joining in. Those standing around watching the destruction with cell phones out to snap pictures and text your friends? You're partly to blame. Mob mentality began to set in, as more and more people wanted to be a part of the show. Canucks fans posed in front of burning cars for a new Facebook profile picture. Opportunists saw no harm in looting from stores that someone else broke into." [PITB]

? Ben Kuzma spills the details on injuries to Alex Edler, Christian Ehrhoff, Chris Higgins and Dan Hamhuis … but Ryan Kesler refuses to explain if he's banged up or not, at least right after the Game 7 loss. [The Province]

? "The twins may not yet be Stanley Cup champions but they are unquestionable superstars of life no matter what Mike Milbury or anyone else might want to say about them." Superstars of life? [The Province]

? More Jaromir Jagr-to-the-NHL scuttlebutt, as his agent allegedly has contacted the Detroit Red Wings, Pittsburgh Penguins, Montreal Canadiens and the New York Rangers about his return to the League. George Malik rightfully wonders why the Red Wings would spend money on Jagr when he's not, at last glance, a puck-moving defenseman. [Malik Report]

? The Carolina Hurricanes are shopping the rights to Jussi Jokinen or Erik Cole as UFAs. [Red And Black Hockey]

? Canes Country is wondering: "Will John-Michael Liles� finally make his way to Carolina?� He has one more year left on his contract that will pay him $4.55 million this coming season." [Canes Country]

? The Boston Bruins Stanley Cup parade will be held on Saturday. The city is renting a few dozen extra bandwagons to accommodate the fans. [Bruins Blog]

? "Breaking News: Wild Trade All-Star Defenseman to Devils." This doesn't mean what you think it means. [Hockey Wilderness]

? The Colorado Avalanche Hockey Club announced today that the team has promoted Adam Deadmarsh to Assistant Coach.� The organization also announced today the hiring of Tim Army as Assistant Coach/Video. [Avs]

? You will be calling Winnipeg's MTS Centre the MTS Centre until 2021. [CBC Sports]

? Might Craig MacTavish actually become the first head coach for the new team in Winnipeg, instead of the third head coach for the Minnesota Wild? [Sun]

? Here's how CNN covered the Vancouver riots.

? The idiots injured nine cops. [CP]

? Good Game 7 recap from Stanley Cup of Chowder. [SCOC]

? Nathan Horton talks about that dirty Boston water he put in the Vancouver ice last night. [CP]

? An older piece, but one worth reading: Tom Benjamin on the press coverage of the Canucks. [Canucks Corner]

? Interesting homecoming for the Washington Capitals, as Olaf Kolzig joins the team as an associate goaltending coach. Mike Vogel has the details. [Dump 'N Chase]

? Nicklas Backstrom on the Tampa Bay Lightning: "I must say that they had us fooled completely with the way they played. We had no solutions. We couldn't find a way to fix it or correct our mistakes. We couldn't solve them." [Japers' Rink]

? Razor is happy and sad about hockey today. [Razor With an Edge]

? Finally, the top 10 saves of the 2011 Stanley Cup Playoffs, according to The Score.

Ali Larter Angelina Jolie Erica Leerhsen Angela Marcello Paz Vega

2011 Tourney: Title Game Live Chat

Kelly Clarkson Natalie Portman Jessica Biel Christina Milian Kelly Brook

Video: Brad Marchand raps ‘Black and Yellow’ at Bruins Cup parade

Boston Bruins Stanley Cup parade organizers decided to have the players address the crowd — estimated to be over a million people — before embarking on the parade route.

This dramatically decreased the chances for candid (and/or well-lubricated) moments on stage. But rookie and burgeoning MC Brad Marchand didn't disappoint:

That was Patrice Bergeron introducing his "liney" Marchand and, perhaps thankfully, snatching the mic away before the rookie could start free-styling rhymes about haters and divers. Although we were curious how he'd fit "punched a Sedin six times in the grill" into his lyrics.

This is, of course, not the first time we've heard a tenacious winger spit rhymes at a Stanley Cup championship parade. 'Twas only last year when Chicago Blackhawks winger Kris Versteeg entertained the masses with a few bars from LMFAO's "Yes":

There's really one way to settle this: Rap battle. NHL Awards. Make it happen, Jay Mohr.

Mia Kirshner Elisabeth Röhm Lily Allen Emmanuelle Chriqui Anna Faris

2012 NFL Mock Draft: Jacksonville Jaguars Looking to Protect Blaine Gabbert

2012 NFL Mock Draft Has the Jacksonville Jaguars Grabbing Top Offensive Tackle

The Jacksonville Jaguars made noise in the 2011 NFL draft when they traded up to No. 10 select Missouri quarterback Blaine Gabbert.

It remains to be seen if Gabbert will start in his rookie season, but I expect the Jaguars to take a major step back early. This will usher in the Gabbert era quicker than those in Jacksonville may hope, but it will give him much needed experience ala Eli Manning in his rookie season with the New York Giants.

In order to make sure their franchise quarterback has a chance to succeed, the organization select the top offensive tackle in USC?s Matt Kalil to make sure he is well protected in the pocket.

How good is Kalil?

The premier left tackle in the draft made Tyron Smith, Dallas? No. 9 overall pick in 2011, stay on the right side of the line at USC. Smith was only regarded as the top offensive tackle in the 2011 class with his supreme athleticism and pass-blocking skills.

Kalil has incredible footwork and will keep all defenders out of reach from his quarterback. He has the size and the pro-level strength to become one of the very best left tackles in the game.

He has the bloodlines to secure his elite potential as his brother, Ryan, plays for the Carolina Panthers. It would have been a great story to see the two brothers secure the line in Carolina, but Gabbert lucks out as he falls to No. 4.

Jacksonville needs to bolster its line to ease the pressure on the shoulders and legs of elite runner Maurice Jones-Drew. With one swift selection, the Jags? offense will be much improved in 2013.

1. Washington Redskins: Andrew Luck, Stanford QB	17. San Diego Chargers: Vontaze Burfict, Arizona State LB
2. Carolina Panthers: Alshon Jeffery, South Carolina WR	18. Detroit Lions: Cliff Harris, Oregon CB
3. Tennessee Titans: Quinton Coples, North Carolina DE	19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Trent Richardson, Alabama RB
4. Jacksonville Jaguars: Matt Kalil, USC OT	20. Indianapolis Colts: Luke Kuechly, Boston College LB
5. Miami Dolphins: Landry Jones, Oklahoma QB	21. St. Louis Rams: Marcus Forston, Miami (FL) DT
6. San Francisco 49ers: Dre' Kirkpatrick, Alabama CB	22. Houston Texans: Alfonzo Dennard, Nebraska CB
7. Cincinnati Bengals: Jonathan Martin, Stanford OT	23. New York Giants: Dont'a Hightower, Alabama LB
8. Oakland Raiders: Matt Barkley, USC QB	24. New England Patriots (via New Orleans): Jared Crick, Nebraska DL
9. Arizona Cardinals: Donte Paige-Moss, North Carolina DE/OLB	25. Kansas City Chiefs: Courtney Upshaw, Alabama OLB
10. Buffalo Bills: Riley Reiff, Iowa OT	26. New York Jets: Travis Lewis, Oklahoma OLB
11. Seattle Seahawks: Jerel Worthy, Michigan St. DT	27. Cleveland Browns (via Atlanta): Manti Te'o, Notre Dame LB
12. Cleveland Browns: Jayron Hosley, Virginia Tech CB	28. Pittsburgh Steelers: Chase Minnifield, Virginia CB
13. Denver Broncos: Stephon Gilmore, South Carolina CB	29. Philadelphia Eagles: Zach Brown, North Carolina OLB
14. Minnesota Vikings: Brandon Jenkins, Florida State DE	30. Baltimore Ravens: Ray-Ray Armstrong, Miami (FL) S
15. Chicago Bears: Justin Blackmon, Oklahoma State WR	31. New England Patriots: Devin Taylor, North Carolina DE/OLB
16. Dallas Cowboys: Janoris Jenkins, CB	32. Green Bay Packers: Andre Branch DL

Evangeline Lilly Lisa Marie Keira Knightley Monica Keena Anne Marie Kortright

No doubting it: Tim Thomas wins Conn Smythe Trophy

One year ago, Tim Thomas sat on the Boston Bruins' bench and watched as the Philadelphia Flyers came back from a 3-0 series deficit in the second round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs and eliminated the Bruins.

It was the end of a miserable season for Thomas, whose effectiveness was limited by a hip injury. He lost the No. 1 goalie job to backup Tuukka Rask.

But as Thomas had done for his entire career, he fought back; and one year after watching his team fail in spectacular fashion, he raised the Conn Smythe Trophy as playoff MVP following the Bruins' 4-0 win over the Vancouver Canucks in Game 7 -- the franchise's first Stanley Cup in 39 years.

A ninth-round pick by the Quebec Nordiques in 1994, Thomas didn't play his first NHL game until the 2002-03 season after bouncing around the minor leagues and spending parts of four seasons in Europe. Some would have quit after being unable to achieve their goals right away, but that's not Thomas' style. He's always been a fighter; whether it's outside or inside his crease.

An aggressive and emotional player, Thomas' style defined this Boston Bruins team: a hard-nosed, gritty bunch that may not play the sexiest brand of hockey, but in the end, their play stands out and gets the job done.

[Related: Incredible turnaround for Stanley Cup champions]

As each game of the Final passed and the Bruins clawed their way back into the series after falling into a 2-0 hole, it quickly became evident that there was only one choice for the Conn Smythe Trophy, win or lose.

It was Tim Thomas and Tim Thomas alone.

Even as the Vancouver Canucks took a 2-0 series lead and then were a win away from the Cup after Game 5, Thomas' play stood out and he became not only the MVP of the Bruins, but of these playoffs.

He finishes with that elusive 16th win that only one team gets to celebrate. He finishes with a 1.98 goals-against average and a ridiculous .940 save percentage. He finishes with four shutouts in the playoffs, two of which coming in the Final. He finishes with eight goals allowed in seven Cup games.

And there's a good chance he'll finish the season with a trio of trophies at next week's NHL Awards. One week from Wednesday night, the 37-year-old Thomas will likely take home the Vezina Trophy; and along with the Conn Smythe and Stanley Cup, he'll become the first goaltender to win all three since 1974 and 1975 when Bernie Parent of the Flyers achieved the feat back-to-back.

If you stay your lane long enough, you'll eventually reach your destination.

For Tim Thomas, it was a long and winding road, but Wednesday night he finally arrived.

More Stanley Cup coverage on Yahoo! Sports:
? Breaking down the winning goal
? Awkward moments after season finale
? Why fans rioted after Canucks' Game 7 loss | Photos | Video

Julianne Hough Paula Garcés Genelle Frenoy Shania Twain Gwen Stefani

Trending Topics: Bruins GM won Cup by resisting temptation

Trending Topics is a new column that looks at the week in hockey according to Twitter. If you're only going to comment to say how stupid Twitter is, why not just go have a good cry for the slow, sad death of your dear internet instead?

Zdeno Chara lifted the Stanley Cup, then passed it to Mark Recchi who passed it to Tim Thomas and so on. Everyone on the Bruins got their turn with the greatest trophy in all of sports.

Every once in a while during the celebration, you'd see Peter Chiarelli standing in the background, clapping and hugging and beaming. The NBC broadcast didn't show when he picked it up himself, but he had nearly as big a role in getting here as anyone wearing a Spoked-B on their shirt this season.

Often, general managers get noticed for the things they do: sign guys, make trades, buy out others. Chiarelli deserves the most praise, instead, for the things he did not do.

Last summer, there were about a million questions facing the Bruins after they were historically bounced by the Philadelphia Flyers. Was this a team that could compete? What should he do with Tim Thomas? Would Claude Julien have to go?

The simplest answer, and therefore the one very few people advocated for, was to leave things be. The Stanley Cup Playoffs seem to be more random than other postseasons, where low seeds knock off favored teams seemingly with greater regularity than in any other North American sport. And the truth is, though few opted to view it that way, the Bruins were a bad change away from the Eastern Conference Finals.

But that temptation must have been there. The haul he would have gotten for Tim Thomas ? from Philly or from Tampa or from one of a handful of other rumored suitors ?�would have been sizeable; it's not every day a guy that won a Vezina two years prior goes on the market. Plus, Tuukka Rask had proven himself at least as capable a goalie as Thomas during that season. But he opted to hang onto Thomas and got an historic Conn Smythe-, Stanley Cup- and almost certainly Vezina-winning season out of the netminder who just nine months before had been aging, overpaid and coming off hip surgery.

And we probably don't know how close Julien came to losing his job.

(Coming Up: Steve Kampfer outs a fake Brad Marchand; the "Pumping His Tires" meme on Twitter; and your Pearls of BizNasty for the week.)

He's not the league's most electrifying coach. He doesn't swear in press conferences or get especially animated on the bench, and he's rarely praised as a genius like Mike Babcock, Guy Boucher or Dan Bylsma. And after you blow a 3-0 series lead, the prospect of dumping the coach responsible (if that's the word you want to apply here) must be alluring.

But Chiarelli stuck with his guy, seen by many of the team's younger players ? and Mike Ryder ?�as a father figure. The rewards were obvious from the second the season started, even if things got a little dicey in that series with the Habs and to a lesser extent, the Lightning. The team had systems that always looked ugly, but hummed beatifully when they were working, and that was all Julien.

But really, Chiarelli deserves credit for building this team right from the second he took the job. He was technically not allowed to participate in the Bruins' 2006 entry draft, but it's safe to assume he had more than a little sway. Three of the Bruins first four picks that year: Phil Kessel ?�who himself begat Tyler Seguin, Jared Knight and another top-10 pick whose identity we'll learn in two weeks ? followed by Milan Lucic and Brad Marchand.

Think those guys had something to do with this masterful regular season and playoff run?

A few weeks later, Chiarelli's first official move as GM was to sign a defenseman he grew to know well during his time in Ottawa: Zdeno Chara, Bruins captain and a now-perennial Norris candidate with three nominations and a win since 2008.

Chara worked in perfect concert with Dennis Seidenberg from October to June, shutting down every cycle they saw in this postseason like a cop who doesn't get the concept of Bike Week. (Seidenberg himself, of course, was shrewdly wrangled by Chiarelli from Florida with a prospect for another team's second-round pick and two players who haven't seen a day in the NHL since the end of last year.)

The other guy he signed that day was Marc Savard, which is interesting in itself because he built a Stanley Cup winner this season without being able to use much of Savard's $4 million-ish cap hit until the end of the season.

Since then, he's added to the team piece by piece, inexplicably pulling both 26-goal-scorer/Eastern Conference Final hero Nathan Horton and penalty killing wizard/supposed anti-suspension talisman Greg Campbell for Dennis Wideman and an unneeded first-round pick. And even if Horton didn't have much of a physical impact on the Finals, his awful injury early in Game 3 certainly galvanized the team into an indomitable hydra that won four of its next five games, outscoring the best offensive team and defensive team in hockey by a combined score of 21-4.

Dan Paille? Plucked for a third-round pick.

Rich "first-liner" Peverley? Rescued from Atlanta and Winnipeg for disused role players Blake Wheeler and Mark Stuart.

Chris Kelly? Had for just a redundant second-round pick.

Mark Recchi? Acquired two years ago with a second-round pick for two mediocre prospects, and re-signed on the cheap ever since.

Every one of those guys was crucial in getting the Bruins through to the Stanley Cup title. Almost miraculously, all of the aforementioned players are also signed for a title defense next year, except Brad Marchand who is a restricted free agent, and Mark Recchi, who is obviously retiring a hero.

Of course, you can criticize Chiarelli too, to some extent. Milan Lucic probably makes too much money, and the Tomas Kaberle trade won't be remembered for being terribly successful under a microscope. Savard's ongoing concussion problems makes that seven-year deal somewhat hard to swallow unless he retires. The Thomas contract looked like a problem until it wasn't, and could turn back into a pumpkin at any minute. Chara might have too big a cap hit considering his contract lasts through his age-41 season.

But for now, the only credibility he needs weighs 34.5 pounds, made out of silver and nickel. Chiarelli is the sport's unequivocal genius for at least the next few months, mastermind behind a ruthless, gutty and physical team with a surprisingly bright future given its current quality.

He has almost all of his team coming back, a remaining raft of picks in this year's draft (including the ninth and 40th overall) and about $7 million in cap space to play with.

Bad news for the rest of the NHL.

Steve Kampfer: Twitter detective

A pretty good indication that the Bruins were feeling good heading back to Boston after losing Game 5 and staring into the abyss of playoff elimination:

Occasional defenseman Steve Kampfer took the time to suss out a Twitter fake.

Do you follow the Twitter account @bradmarshy63? That guy pretends to be Brad Marchand, but he's not. How do we know? Because Kampfer proved it.

First he asked the bogus super pest to give up his account quietly, to which the fake responded by saying that it was Kampfer who was the imposter. Then Kampfer posted a picture of himself and Marchand together.

When the shamarchand persisted, saying that Kampfer had stolen his own picture, the real deal posted another picture.

As Kampfer said: "Game, set match."

#PumpingHisTires

Poor Roberto Luongo felt like Timmy Thomas hadn't done enough to "pump his tires," while Luongo had postively showered praise on the world's favorite lumberjack-looking netminder. Twitter users took it upon themselves to remind Bobby Lou of everything he's good at.

@bmenoza: Luongo could stop a comet hurtling towards downtown Vancouver because he would be in proper position.

@WanyeGretz: I've seen greasier people than Luongo in my life

@OvenChicken8: The Atlanta Thrashers moved to Winnipeg just to be closer to Roberto Luongo

@JSBMrevolution: Roberto Luongo is taller than Athurs Irbe

@edmontoncritic: If you look at Luongo's save percentage in terms of batting average, Pete Rose looks like the worst hitter in the league

@luhein24: Luongo is the best goalie in the NHL Playoffs to have been pulled four times

And your winner:

@ounyea: The goal lightbulb business has been booming

Pearls of Biz-dom

We all know that there isn't a better Twitter account out there than that of Paul Bissonnette. So why not find his best bit of advice on love, life and lappers from the last week?

BizNasty on pumping Lu's tires: "I wonder what Cory Schneider's doing right now?"

If you've got something for Trending Topics, holla at Lambert on Twitter or via e-mail. He'll even credit you so you get a thousand followers in one day and you'll become the most popular person on the Internet! You can also visit his blog if you're so inclined.

Liz Phair Aaliyah Katherine Heigl Lorri Bagley Leslie Bega

Noah Wyle Talks Saving the World & Becoming an Action Star on 'Falling Skies'

Filed under: Reality-Free, Celebrity Interviews, The Show Girl

It's hard to look at Noah Wyle and not see Dr. Carter from 'ER' ... but 'Falling Skies' might finally change that.

The new TNT drama (premieres Sun., June 19, 9PM ET) gives Wyle a hero's badge you can't earn in a hospital: He's helping save the world from an alien invasion. Add to that the fact that his wife was killed after the invastion and one of his three sons has been taken hostage by the visitors' spine-sucking mind-control devices that are basically a death sentence.

To say that Wyle's Tom Mason is having a rough time is an understatement.

I caught up with Wyle to talk about his career's new action star direction and why this alien invasion drama shouldn't get pegged with the sci-fi label too quickly. "I think it's TNT's attempt to try to have their cake and eat it, too -- to try and branch out and grab an audience that doesn't currently exist on their network, while still honoring the one that does by giving them what they tune in for, which is well written character pieces. I think there is something for everybody in here."

Keep reading for more ...

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Teri Hatcher Lauren Bush Natalie Zea Brody Dalle Taryn Manning

Hines Ward danced almost as well as Ralph Macchio

Last night saw the season premiere of ABC's Dancing With the Stars, and with it, Hines Ward's first chance to dance his way into America's heart. How'd he do? See for yourself.

Each of the three judges gave Hines a 7, for a total score of 21 out of 30. From what I understand, that's pretty good. Only Ralph Macchio and Kirstie Alley got better scores, which is fine with me, because I'm in total agreement with that third judge: I've always felt like Hines's hips needed to be more piston-like.

Kelly Ripa Yvonne Strzechowski Rhona Mitra Kelly Rowland Danica Patrick

Punk rockers ‘Elway’ will rock on despite John Elway’s protests

If you regularly attend punk rock shows in people's basements, you might be familiar with the Fort Collins, Colo., band "Elway." On ReverbNation, they have two fans and are the 143rd most popular Rock act in Fort Collins, Colo. Whatever's the opposite of "sweeping the nation," that's what they're doing.

They do have the attention of John Elway, though. The Broncos legend, through his legal team, "strongly urged" the band to change its name, though there was no cease and desist order.

Tim Browne, lead singer of Elway, shared his thoughts with the AP.

"We're just guys living in a van, driving across the country, playing shows with next to nobody (in the audience)," Browne said. "And then this multimillion dollar successful business man, Hall of Fame football player gets so mortified that a punk band would use his last name? It's an incredible shock it happened.

"We're not out to get John Elway. This situation is hilarious and he needs to loosen up. Life's too short to worry about a punk rock band using your name."

[...]

"We're slouches," Browne said, laughing. "But we're not the worst slouches in the world. We're doing what we can. We're about having a good time, not trying to steal money out of anyone's pocket.

"We're so small that it confounds me thoroughly why anyone would try to legally strong-arm us."

John Elway's a business man now, with his name on car dealerships and upscale steakhouses. I suppose, as a business man, he's got to try to protect his name and make sure it's not associated with anything less than 100 percent wholesome. Like, say, for example, a band that uses lyrics "ranging from that of the sad sap to the indignant atheist with a bevy of homespun d*** jokes."

It doesn't seem like they're hurting anyone, though. I don't think anyone's going to show up at Elway's steakhouse and be disappointed at the lack of unpolished punk rock; nor do I think that anyone's going to show up at an Elway performance and be disappointed when no one offers them a 28-ounce porterhouse, grilled artichokes and a table next to an autographed No. 7 jersey.

My prediction is that Elway (the band) won't be changing its name, especially now that John Elway has given it more attention than it has ever gotten previously. In that spirit, go check the band out on Facebook.

Rachael Leigh Cook Elisha Cuthbert Ciara Rachel Hunter Heidi Montag

Currently nonexistent Lions defensive line gets a nickname

Jim Schwartz, head coach of the Detriot Lions, has asked Lions fans for suggestions on a nickname for his team's defensive line. After sifting through a number of suggestions, he's landed on -- drum roll, please -- "Silver Crush."

It wouldn't have been my first choice (I'd have gone with "The Giant Pit of Despair That Has Devoured Everyone Else in The City"), but that's all right. What concerns me more is that they have a nickname at all.

Presumably, they needed a moniker now because they added highly touted rookie Nick Fairley to the already-dominant Ndamukong Suh and his partners Kyle Vanden Bosch and Cliff Avril.

It's a formidable group in theory, but that's the problem. They only exist right now in theory, much like the NFL as a whole. Call me crazy, but before a group gets a nickname, shouldn't they, I don't know, accomplish something first? Perhaps play together in a game? Maybe have a practice together?

I like nicknames. I think we need more of them. You can look back through NFL history and there are units that have had beautiful, colorful nicknames -- the Steel Curtain, the Hogs, the Killer B's, the Three Amigos, the Purple People Eaters.

But what those all have in common is that they were great first, and then they got the nickname.

It's not that I doubt Suh, Fairley and company. They almost certainly will wreak havoc in the NFC North, but I think we'd be doing everyone a favor by holding back on the nickname for now. Let's see if they earn it.

Ali Campoverdi Giuliana DePandi Pamela Anderson Amber Arbucci Christina Aguilera

05/31 (Tressel Quits) Quickie

Kristy Swanson Ali Campoverdi Giuliana DePandi Pamela Anderson Amber Arbucci

Tribute: Remembering the 2010-11 Boston Bruins

(What, you thought the champs get off easy? Before the season, we assign 16 eulogies. As in the past, the winning team's eulogy becomes ahem, a "tribute" by the fans who hated them the most. Here is HF10 of the Montreal Canadiens fan collective known as Four Habs Fans, fondly recalling the 2010-11 Stanley Cup Champion Boston Bruins. Again, this was not written by us. Also: This is a roast and you will be offended by it, so don't take it so seriously.)

By HF10 of Four Habs Fans

The Boston Bruins are Stanley Cup champions.

While that sentence makes me want to commit "routine hockey plays" on everyone in a 100-mile vicinity, it's the truth, and we all need to get used to it. It's Tim Thomas's buffet table and we're all just looking for scraps after he makes his third pass. [Whew. Got the "routine hockey play" and "Thomas is fat" joke shoehorned into the opening sentence. Now we can relax.]

Now, you might assume we Habs fans are twisting ourselves into bitter, whining, bitchy knots at the thought of our greatest rivals hoisting the Cup, especially after all that transpired between the Bruins and the Canadiens over the past year.

Well, you know what, Mr. Smarty Pants Sarcastic Commenter?� YOU'RE ABSOFRIGGINGLUTELY RIGHT we're bitter. We're bitter every year the riots and parade don't take place down Ste. Catherine street in Montreal, but this year especially hurts. It feels even worse when you tee up your best "Dr Recchi has declared that the Bruins aren't dead, Jack Edwards just yelled at the Bruins corpse to get up" jokes in preparation for a Puck Daddy Eulogy and that jerk Wysh asks you to write a freaking "tribute" instead.

But we're professionals, so here we go. A tribute to the 2011 Stanley Cup Champion Boston Bruins. May God have mercy on our souls.

A Stanley Cup doesn't just happen by accident. It takes contributions from a disparate group of heroes, wielded together in pursuit of a common goal. The Boston Bruins had a number of those types of heroes (and Tomas Kaberle):

? Tim Thomas continued to defy his critics, every single goaltending expert on the planet, Father Time and the evils of cholesterol by turning in the best season of his career. Thomas looked like a salary cap-killing mistake when Tuukka Rask emerged last season, and now he's the probable Vezina winner, the runaway Conn Smythe winner and everyone's feel-good story of the year. He even upgraded his celebrity doppleganger from Drew Carey to Kevin James in "Paul Blart, Mall Cop." An all around success story.

? Claude Julien went from probably being fired if the Bruins lost in Round 1 to Stanley Cup champion — good news for those of us who look forward to more hypocritical press conferences where Julien loudly proclaims the innocence of his goon squad and cries foul over any physical contact with his little angels in black and gold. Look for a slew of copycat coaches who spent most of the game with their arms outstretched in mock surprise that their team has drawn a penalty for a "routine hockey play" that leads to an opponent being stretchered off the ice.

? Dr. Mark Recchi used his extensive knowledge of human physiology to not only play inspired hockey at the age of 136, but also took the time to publicly shame that goldbricking faker Max Pacioretty, who was obviously trying to get perennial Lady Byng candidate and soon to be canonized gentle giant Zdeno Chara suspended forever with his bogus broken neck/concussion claims. Thank goodness the Doctor was able to see right through the Canadiens ruse and prevent a great injustice. The Doctor was strangely silent on the effects of his teammate Nathan Horton's concussion in the Finals, but I guess traveling across the continent to sit under the bright lights of an arena lit up for a Game 7 isn't nearly as troublesome for concussion victims as sitting in a darkened movie theatre in Montreal.

? Freshman Brad Marchand became a media sensation with his increasingly irritating and hypocritical... well, everything about Marchand is�irritating and�hypocritical. Not many rookies can come into a League, accuse another team of diving, accuse another rookie of not respecting the game, and accuse someone else of doling out dangerous head shots and then proceed to lead the league in diving penalties (regular season AND playoffs), not respect anyone, and get suspended for a blindside elbow to the back of someone's head in one season, but this little dynamo did. His greatest accomplishment might have been making Milan Lucic seem likable by comparison. We eagerly await Year 2 of the Marchand era, when we fully expect him to stab someone in the faceoff dot and call them out for disrespecting the game by bleeding to death on the ice instead of in the dressing room.

? Zdeno Chara put the awkwardness of nearly killing Max Pacioretty (when a mysterious stanchion suddenly materialized out of thin air in the Bell Centre, causing him to inadvertently slam Pacioretty's head into it on a "routine hockey play") behind him to finish the playoffs without almost killing anyone else. He hopes to continue to not almost kill people next year, no matter how many times he is confused about where he is on the various ice surfaces he has played on for over a decade.

? Nathan Horton finally began to show the full potential the world knew he was capable of when Florida drafted him 3rd overall, scoring a number of clutch goals in the playoffs and continuing a fine Boston tradition of pleasant interaction with opposing fans. He can be forgiven for not fully embracing the Bruin way, which would have meant actually climbing into the stands and beating on someone with their own shoe — he's only been a Bruin for a year. Next year he'll do us proud … as soon as Dr. Recchi clears him from the concussion that resulted from a dastardly late hit that most certainly wasn't a "routine hockey play."

? Greg Campbell finally was able to put all the whispers about NHL front office bias to rest when his dad Colin Campbell stepped down as NHL suspension czar in favour of someone far less likely to show favouritism towards little Greg and his teammates:� Greg's mother, Franny. Franny immediately suspended Greg's former Kitchener Rangers teammate Mike Richards for every Flyer/Bruin game next season because he didn't invite Greg to his birthday party in 2003.

? Patrice Bergeron made a heroic comeback from potentially career-threatening concussions to reassert himself as one of the best two-way players in hockey. He also apparently represents the exception that proves the rule to all Boston fans, since he is the only French Canadian in existence who isn't branded as a diving, whining, cop car burning [female genitalia] by Bruins supporters.

? Former Bruin great and current surly fat man in the press box Cam Neely was an inspirational leader to the 2011 Bruins, angrily punching walls and storming out of the room when things didn't go his way and gleefully sharing awkward high fives with GM Peter Chiarelli whenever a Bruin scored a game winner, threw a cheap-shot after the whistle or bashed an opponent in the face with an elbow pad.

The 2010-2011 Boston Bruins might not be the most talented Stanley Cup champs in history. They might not be the most beloved. They might face accusations that their NHL sanctioned and supported goonery, whining and general ass-hattery is going to drag the league into a 70's style abyss.

They might weaken the girders in the ceiling of the TD Banknorth with all the new banners they'll raise to retire the jerseys of Thomas, Chara, Marchand, Dr. Recchi, Bergeron, Horton, Lucic, Boychuk, Campbell (Greg and Colin), and probably even Dennis Wideman, since he got traded for Horton and the Campbells.

None of that matters.

What matters most to the Bruins and their fans (at least until the first pitch in tonight's Red Sox game) is that the Bruins only needed seven games (including three overtime wins) to squeak past a Montreal team missing its top two defensemen and trotting Scott [expletive] Gomez out for 20 minutes a night; then destroyed a Flyers team in disarray; then only took another seven games to defeat a Lightning team with a 41-year-old journeyman goalie; and finally seven more to defeat a team that laid down like beaten dogs and got the worst goaltending performance in a Stanley Cup final since Dawson City in 1905 (look it up). That's what is important*.

At least until the NFL lockout ends.

Congratulations, Boston. Pink Lucic jerseys for everyone!

* Except�to cheapskate owner Jeremy Jacobs, who thinks the most important thing�is the Bruins managed to squeeze a dozen more home games into the season - and the players didn't get paid. (Yeah Bruins fans, we threw in a "Jacobs is cheap" joke. Christ, you won the effing Cup, we're grasping at straws here).

The preceding was written by Four Habs Fans. You're welcome.

Teri Hatcher Lauren Bush Natalie Zea Brody Dalle Taryn Manning

Thirty-two reasons you need to watch the NFL draft

1) See Roger Goodell get booed. He will, and absolutely should, be booed like he's Michael Irvin standing on top of the Liberty Bell urinating on the Rocky DVD box set. Of course, it will be completely pointless, because as long as you're attending or watching the draft, you're doing exactly what Roger Goodell wants you to do.

2) Will any player do anything weird in defiance of the commissioner, league, or lockout? I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but I hope Cam Newton takes his new hat from the commissioner and yells in his face, "Thanks, DEVIL."

3) Speaking of Cam Newton, he's a fascinating prospect. Physically, he's prototypical and then some. Mentally, there are questions. Add this to the importance of quarterbacks in today's game and the number of teams with a need at the position, and he's a fascinating guy to watch.

4) The NHL is taking the night off. There's still a lot of hockey left to be played. Be honest. You could use a little break.

5) The first round looks like it's going to be a festival of quarterbacks. This, despite the fact that a lot of these quarterbacks are getting third and fourth-round "grades" from some analysts. I love this heightened emphasis on quarterbacks. And it's even better for teams who already have a good one and can sit back and watch their rivals burn first-round picks on quarterback reaches.

6) These might be the last days to enjoy NFL action before Roger Goodell's nightmare scenario comes to fruition, and the league will be but a barren, desolate landscape of despair, where the dry, crusty earth is roamed only by cockroaches, ribs-exposed deer that haven't eaten in weeks, and human beings willing to engage in the dark practice of cannibalism.

7) On the NFL Network, Chris Berman won't be ruining everything by tipping off picks.

8) Few things in the world are as ridiculous as this enormous media spectacle. The hype and promotion of the draft is flat-out absurd to begin with, but this year it gets even more ridiculous when you consider that the NFL is in the middle of a major labor crisis, has a million more important things to worry about, and is currently antagonizing fans like a lonely message board troll. All that's going on, and we're still doing this. It feels a little like the band continuing to play while the Titanic went down.

9) We'll be liveblogging!

10) Your opinion, though largely uninformed, is pretty much as valid as anyone else's. Guys who have spent their whole lives studying the draft, analysts and front office people alike, still have a pretty low rate of success at predicting NFL-worthiness. You can read a couple of Mel Kiper columns and do just as well as anyone else.

11) It's about the only way you can consume the NFL right now without needing a lawyer to interpret things for you.

12) Someone's inevitable green room slide. Here's how that will go: Everyone will feel terrible for the guy, like they're watching a man take his last walk to an electric chair. Eventually, he will get drafted, and which point he will be praised for his courage and poise in how he "handled things."

13) Is it time to look for replacements for Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? It seems like a slightly premature worry to me, but some young man could end up getting a great mentor and enormous shoes to fill.

14) Robert Quinn didn't play football last year, was banned from college football for life, had a tumor in his head, and will probably go in the top 10. That's a pretty good story.

15) This year, there will be none of that "we have the guy signed before we draft him" nonsense. It seems like everyone thinks Cam Newton is going first overall, but no one could swear to it. Some uncertainty at the top is nice.

16) Maybe your team will draft Patrick Peterson instead of a quarterback they'll later regret, and that will make you happy forever.

17) You're going to want to record "The Office" anyway. It's a TV event. Let it have a semi-permanent space on your DVR, watch the draft as it happens, then watch "The Office" later.

18) The draft is pretty much tailor-made for following along on Twitter.

19) Matt Millen might say something about Detroit's draft pick, giving you a perfectly legitimate reason to hurl a railroad spike at your television.

20) If you were so inclined, you could pull off a "Huge, Ridiculous Media Spectacle" doubleheader by watching the entire first round, and then staying up for this Royal Wedding nonsense.

21) Players' moms are going to be happy. It's nice to see moms happy.

22) If you want, you can feel superior when everyone's draft predictions go completely awry, which, of course, they will.� Don't let the fact that no one on earth could accurately predict this nonsense deter you.

23) NFL Draft Prop Bets. Bet on whether or not Mr. Irrelevant will be an offensive or defensive player. Bet on Cam Newton or Blaine Gabbert going first. Bet on the number of SEC players taken in the first round.

24) Wildly unhelpful highlights. This might be my favorite thing about the draft. A defensive end gets drafted, and then ESPN shows a highlight of the guy running directly to the quarterback, unblocked, and destroying the guy. Or they show a running back going through a huge hole, where no elusiveness, power or vision is necessary at all. Because that's what makes these guys good prospects ? how they perform when no one is even attempting to stop them. That happens so often in the NFL.

25) It'll be nice to see the ex-players in Round 2. Barry Sanders, Willie Roaf, Natrone Means, and the great Charles Haley. Hopefully, one of these gentlemen has it in them to do something colorful, crazy or controversial. The smart money is on Haley.

26) It will probably be this week's best draft, unless you happen to love John Cena.

27) The draft comes before free agency this year, so if your team doesn't address a need, you can cling to some hope that they'll eventually get to sign someone competent.

28) I'm expecting Thursday night to kick off a new Bengals era. With their first pick, it seems pretty likely that they'll draft either Carson Palmer's replacement or Chad Ochocinco's replacement.

29) The Raiders don't have a first-round pick, so that somewhat limits what kind of craziness they can pull. You never know, though. Maybe they'll trade into the first round and try to take a guy who was taken four picks ago. Or maybe they'll sit pat in the second round and draft a dead guy or something.

30) Can we unite the Pouncey brothers in Pittsburgh? And if it happens, how will Chris Berman tip it off? Will he go with a pun on "pounce"? Or will it be something brotherly? Can he squeeze both into one sentence?

31) Maybe the biggest favor the draft does for us is that it ends draft speculation, 95�percent of which appears to be completely made-up.

32) It could be a uniting experience for the world's gingers. Gather, people with fiery manes, and rally behind Andy Dalton as he battles against oppression.

Tara Conner Drea de Matteo Trista Rehn Moon Bloodgood Kristin Kreuk