Hey bleachers! Welcome once again to my weekly SmackDown review.
It’s coming once again from London, and just in case you were a bit dubious about this fact—the black cab, the bus and the big Union Jack should have put your mind at rest.
Michael Cole was introduced as “Sir Michael Cole” and he walked down the ramp wearing his “royal robes.” I really hope he gets drafted off television all together.
We were shown the World Heavyweight Championship, which was hanging above the ring for a reason I cannot fathom.
Cody Rhodes was the first Superstar to cut a promo and was accompanied by three assistants wheeling a trolley full of paper bags.
He cut another excellent promo about how Rey wears a mask because he is hiding something—his fears, his loathing thoughts for his fans and the fact he is ashamed of himself.
He then turned on the crowd saying they should also hide their faces, basically, because they are disgusting for a variety of reasons—the assistants then handed out the bags.
To my surprise, the crowd really got into this and actually wore them!—some for the whole show! It is always good to see the crowd getting involved in the drama of the night.
Rey Mysterio came out for his match with Cody Rhodes and the crowd erupted! They seemed well into Rey Mysterio, although I don’t know why.
I am so bored of him and his underdog act. It was a decent match despite Rey Mysterio getting in way more offence on Cody than he should have been doing.
There was a good spot where Cody dropkicked an aerial Rey Mysterio, but despite an excellent match where Cody should have rightfully won—Mysterio rolled him up and stole the victory.
I refuse to believe that happened.
What a mistake.
Words cannot describe the shock and anger I felt.
Cody initiated an assault on Rey after the match that spilled onto the outside and I had an inkling this would serve as a base for their Extreme Rules match.
When it was later revealed that they would indeed be competing in a Falls Count Anywhere match, I couldn’t help but feel a little smug.
The incident ended when Cody (finally) got the better of Mysterio and gave him a CrossRhodes on the outside. He then placed a paper bag on his head symbolically to chants of “paper bag!”
Two backstage segments followed. The first was with The Corre. Heath Slater interrupted an argument between Wade and Gabriel and told them to remember that there is no leader.
As they reconciled, Ezekiel turned up and told them that as their leader, he was behind them. Well, you could have cut the tension with a knife. He then said he was joking and they all lived happily ever after...until the tag match.
The other segment was LayCool in therapy again. It was just as bad as last week—totally dire. Michelle attacked Layla.
Michael Cole was waiting in the ring as we returned to the arena and he basically just recapped what happened on Raw until Swagger came out for his match with Trent Barreta.
As you can probably guess, this was a squash match and Swagger got the better of Barreta (try saying that over and over in quick succession) with the ankle lock.
The tag team championships were on the line in the next match, as Big Show and Kane took on Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel.
I was impressed at how good this match was, as I expected it to be a bit of a flop, but I felt it more than did its job of entertaining me. After all, that’s supposed to be the main point of WWE nowadays—to entertain.
Big Show threw Gabriel onto Jackson as payback for Jackson’s involvement earlier in the match and Chokeslammed Heath Slater to become a Tag Team Champion, along with Kane. I’ll be interested to see how long Big Show can hold on to his most recent partner.
We were treated to a backstage segment in which the former tag team champions were blaming Jackson for their mishaps in the ring. Jackson argued that he didn’t cost them anything. Heath Slater then lost his temper and violently shoved Gabriel to the ground.
If WWE are going to split up The Corre, they at least need to keep Slater and Gabriel on the same page.
They are a credible tag-team in the WWE and could be of paramount importance to the survival of the division at this point in time.
To split them up would mean that Big Show and Kane have no opponents at all and the Tag Team division would officially die. It’s already on its last legs and WWE seems intent on throwing salt into the wounds.
McIntyre took on Chris Masters in what I expected to be a squash match but it was actually really good.
Masters actually looked like he posed a threat to Drew, that was, until he fell victim to the Future Shock DDT. Nevertheless, Masters got in a decent amount of offence and the whole match was fun to watch.
Here is something I don’t understand. Wade Barrett took on Kofi Kingston next and got booed as he walked down the ramp—as Kofi Kingston was met with thunderous cheers. What gives, England?
I know Wade Barrett is the heel but usually, if they are in their home country or town, they get cheered nonetheless. Wade is from Manchester, England, and if I’d have attended, I’d have cheered until I lost my voice.
There were a couple of good spots in the match, including Kofi’s patented cross-body. Ezekiel ploughed right through Wade—whether he was aiming for Kofi or not is subject to much debate.
Nevertheless, he was sent to the back by Wade for this miscalculation. Barrett stole the victory by putting the brakes on in a sloppy roll up.
I was glad to see Wade retain his title—I was getting a little worried when The Corre lost the tag belts.
The final segment was the retirement party Del Rio had organised for Edge. Things like this always end up in a total brawl.
On a side note, by this point I was really wishing Cole would just be quiet for two minutes and give everybody a rest. We get it Cole—you’re a heel. Shut up.
Del Rio presented this party accompanied by Spanish music which made me feel like I was playing Call of Juarez. He had three things for Edge.
A Grandfather Clock—to watch his life tick away
Adult nappies (those are diapers, American fans - ED.)—in case he has an accident due to his injury
A walking frame—to help him...walk.
Lita’s music hit during this segment and I have to admit I was completely sucked in. I jumped out of my chair in excitement only to see it was a phony—an overweight phony.
I’m surprised they can get away with things like that, what with everyone getting offended about everything they could possibly think of.
Anyway, needless to say I was unbelievably gutted that I had been suckered in—especially by Del Rio.
Ricardo mocked Edge’s entrance while riding down the ramp in a mobility scooter and guess who crashed the party? Edge! The English crowd exploded as they never expected to see their hero come overseas after his retirement!
He told Del Rio the whole thing was a “flaming bag of poop.” Oh how I long for the days when it would have been a flaming bag of monkey crap.
Just as it looked like Edge was going to be subjected to an assault, Christian attacked Del Rio and Brodus with a ladder, set it up in the ring and grabbed the vacant World Heavyweight Championship.
Will we see that next Sunday at Extreme Rules? I certainly hope so.
Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it.
Please leave comments in the section below on what you made of the night’s events, or any other pressing matters you want to discuss.
Thanks for reading once again. I’ll be back on soon with an article regarding the draft.
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