Here are your Puck Headlines: a glorious collection of news and views collected from the greatest blogosphere in sports and the few, the proud, the mainstream hockey media.
• Via Puck Buddy Steven Locke: "I had recently watched 'Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny', and Episode 3 of 'HBO 24/7.' And well, I guess you could say I was a little inspired by the similar appearances of Kyle Gass and Bruce Boudreau and I came up with the following picture." Rawk.
• Bruce Boudreau can't quite figure out what's wrong with the Washington Capitals' offense: "The saying we have is, if we're in the best position for defense, we're in the best position for offense. I rack my brains an awful lot going over video to seeing if I can't find anything to help." [Capitals Insider]
• Max Talbot on his (translated) blog, regarding Boudreau's profane rants on "24/7": "Viewers notably witnessed, during one episode, the anger of Bruce Boudreau, the Capitals coach. I must say that that team was going through a bad period when the scene was shot. That sort of situation arises sometimes during the course of a season. It always depends on a lot of things, including the character of the coach. Within the Penguins, things are done differently." [Pensburgh]
• Darryl Sutter hasn't spoken to Brent Sutter since stepping down as GM. He's not answering Brent's text messages. Next step: Brent Sutter on top of a car, holding a boom box. [Calgary Sun]
• Ryan Getzlaf injury update, via the Anaheim Ducks: "Ryan Getzlaf had another exam on his nasal sinus fractures yesterday. The bone breaks remain stable (non-displaced) and surgery will not be required. Getzlaf can return to action once the bones have healed, which is expected to be approximately 4-6 weeks from the date of the injury (he was injured Dec. 28 @ Phoenix)."
• Bryan Murray couldn't confirm that Cory Clouston will be the coach of the Ottawa Senators by the end of the season. Did anyone ask Clouston about Murray's job? [QMI]
• Our friend Mike Commodore has requested a trade from the Columbus Blue Jackets, telling the Dispatch: "(Coach Soctt Arniel) doesn't want to play me. Obviously, he doesn't want to play me. After wins, losses ... it doesn't matter. Obviously, I'm the seventh guy in his mind. So, I'm going to take care of myself, be a good teammate, work hard, practice hard and keep myself ready for whatever comes in the future." He's signed through the 2012-13 season, due to make $3.5 million next season and $3.35 million in the final year of the contract. [Dispatch]
• The New York Islanders are hosting Lacrosse Night. If Rob Schremp doesn't get the start, we're grabbing our torches. [Islanders]
• Classic Canada vs. Russia moments to prepare yourself for Wednesday night's epic blowout ... er, showdown in World Juniors. [HOTH]
• It's been a down year for the NHL's pest population. [From The Rink]
This may be the first time we've ever written or considered the following, but Ed Snider is awesome. After hearing Ted Leonsis was impressed that Penguins and Capitals fans bonded over a "Flyers Suck" chant at the Winter Classic, he said: "It was an interesting tongue-in-cheek observation. I like the fact that there two teams playing each other and the fans are yelling, 'Flyers suck.' I think it’s kind of funny. It’s a testament to the Flyers, I think. ... I loved it, I loved it. I thought it was pretty unbelievable. I haven’t called [Leonsis], but I probably will." [CSN Philly]
• Forward Jake Dowell and defenseman Nick Boynton will be scratched for the second straight game for the Chicago Blackhawks. [Between The Circles]
• Midseason checkup on the Anaheim Ducks, who used an Airing of Grievances meeting last week to clear the air in the locker room. [Ducks Blog]
• Looking at the future of the Columbus Blue Jackets blueline, because the present is a little yucky. [The Cannon]
• In praise of Cal Clutterbuck, Minnesota Wild checking machine: "As a Bruins fan, I love me some Milan Lucic. That's why I like Clutterbuck. And on the cool check in, center stage on the mic, and we're puttin' it on wax. It's the new style. It's the new NHL tough guy. The guys who hits hard, bangs people around, and still play solid hockey. Eddie Shore hockey. Ok guys. Show us what you got." [Josh Q. Public]
• Remember that terrible story about a Midget hockey player who had a torn bowel after being butt-ended with a stick during a game? "A 17 year-old player with a Leduc team was convicted of aggravated assault for the incident." [CHQR and 660News]
• A bittersweet farewell to HBO "24/7," which will have its final Pittsburgh Penguins/Washington Capitals episode Wednesday night. [NY Times]
• Great game between the Colorado Avalanche and the Buffalo Sabres on Tuesday night; the sort of battle where you don't mind that both teams ended up with a point and ... seriously, VERSUS? [Stick-tap AvsGuildRyan]
• Local ratings from the Winter Classic. [Puck The Media]
• Two Canadian hockey fans were arrested Monday night in HSBC Arena at the World Junior Hockey Championship, one for third-degree assault and harassment and another with harassment and trespass. [Buffalo News]
• An open hockey letter to Roger Goodell. [Dangerous Hockey]
• Awesome contest: Guess the 10,000th goal scorer for the Vancouver Canucks. [Nucks Misconduct]
• Los Angeles Kings prospect Brayden Schenn talks about his life in hockey. This feature has potential. [Kings]
• Read this story from the Kamloops Daily News about how a sports editor covering the Blazers "will no longer be allowed to talk to team personnel unless he starts writing more favourably" about the team. [KDN]
• Finally, hockey nostalgia nerd-gasm, as Navan transforms into Hockeyville 2011:
Cheryl Burke Olivia Wilde Paulina Rubio Kirsten Dunst Vanessa Minnillo
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