Monday, December 27, 2010

Fake Jon Gruden previews Bears-Vikings Monday night game

Fake Jon Gruden previews the snowy "Monday Night Football" matchup between the Chicago Bears and Minnesota Vikings.

The weather -- Snow, wind, cold, outdoors in the great white north. This is what the National Football League is all about. It's gonna be a fun evenin'. (Headbutts Ron Jaworski.) 

Brett Favre -- If I had to choose one word to describe Brett Favre, it would be "legend." But I don't have to use only one, so here's 44 more: If you thought this guy wasn't gonna go out givin' it one last shot, you're crazy. They upgraded him today from "out" to "questionable," but the only real question is "how much fun is this guy going to have out there in the elements tonight?"  

Joe Webb --- If Favre doesn't play, then this young guy named Joe Webb will get the start. I'll tell ya, we met with this kid on Friday and he has his head on straight. But after facing this swarmin' Bears defense, it may not be on straight for long. (chuckles)

Brian Urlacher -- Hey Mike, you don't think he'd have fit in Buddy Ryan's old Bears defense? (Tirico: "Uh, I never said that." ) Hoo boy. You see all those guys out there in long sleeves? Not this guy. That's why I call him "Brian de Milo." This guy would play a game shirtless at the North Pole. 

Adrian Peterson -- You know what makes this guy special? Everythin'. He doesn't have good field vision, he has X-ray field vision. He doesn't have good power, he has the power of a jumbo jet. They call him AD for "All Day." I call him one of the best runnin' backs in the National Football League.

Julius Peppers -- What a talent. But it's not just the big arms and freakish speed, no. It's his work ethic. You can't find guys like this. He's in the film room, he's studyin', he's 24/7. I bet when he goes to sleep he's got X's and O's dancin' above his head.

Santa Claus -- This guy is everywhere! Australia in the morning, California at night. He has spent countless hours preparin' for Friday night and now it's gut-check time. If there's someone out there who spreads more joy than Brett Favre, it's this guy. It's the time for givin', Jaws, and I just wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday. 

Jolene Blalock Nichole Robinson Monet Mazur Rozonda Thomas Rachel Weisz

No comments:

Post a Comment